Friday, April 29, 2011

Around the World in 80 Lines - Or Less for April 29th, 2011

The Amish Mafia

We’re lucky that the federal government has recently cracked down on the selling of contraband in the US. The Washington Times reports that a year-long sting operation conducted by federal agents has resulted in the bust of an illegal operation in Pennsylvania. The Amish-run Rainbow Acres Farm was selling non-pasteurized milk to consumers who knew the milk was non-pasteurized. The consumers of the illegal milk prefer the taste and say that pasteurization kills good as well as bad bacteria. There have been no complaints or charges filed against the dairy farm previously.

According to Tamara N. Ward, spokesperson for the US Food and Drug Administration, “It is the FDA’s position that raw milk should never be consumed.” We can’t seem to protect voters from intimidation at the polls by the New Black Panther Party, write oil-drilling permits that can be acted upon, or protect our borders from illegal aliens by we can sure shut-down the Amish Mafia with their natural milk.

Exciting Events in London

Old typewriter
Around the World is 80 Lines - Or Less
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Many of us were excited today about the Royal Wedding in London, where Prince William wed Kate Middleton. We’re thrilled, thrilled that it is over. Best wishes to the newly wed Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, but we’ll be very happy to see them exit the news channels to be replaced by real news.

Trump Not Trumped

Not to be outdone in publicity, faux Presidential candidate Donald Trump dropped the F-bomb four times in a Las Vegas speech. To prove his fluidity in unacceptable language, Trump even managed to work the F-word into a compound word alleging incestuous activities, as well as using it in its raw, unadulterated form. There is a rumor, that I am starting right here, that the foul-mouthed outbreak was the result of a wager between Mr. Trump and his chauffer.  Best wishes to Mr. Trump, but we’ll also be very happy to see him exit the news channels to be replaced by real news.

Geld Gadaffi

Moammar Gadaffi (pick your own spelling) has been a bad boy again. The mischievous, murderous madman has not only illegally mined a harbor, he has also been handing out Viagra to his troops to increase the number of rapes perpetrated on Libyan civilians. This is unacceptable by thinking human beings, so we’re waiting on a statement condemning these actions from Gadaffi’s good pal Minister Louis Farrakhan. We are not; however, holding our breath.

We do not wish Mr. Gadaffi well, but we do wish for him to be locked in a room with the husbands, fathers and brothers of the rape victims. They may wish to geld Gadaffi, or more. Oh, and we also wish that all of their knives are rusty and dull, making for a long, painful evening for Mr. Gadaffi.

Painful Gas

The average gas price in the US for regular is now $3.91 per gallon. Overlooked by most is the fact that not all of this can be laid at the feet of President Obama’s energy policies. A large part of it can be found at the feet of President Obama’s monetary policies which has officially given us the weakest dollar in years. And, in terms of dollars, gold has just set an all-time record high, which helps reinforce the point.  

I have yet to decide if our President Obama knows nothing about economics or if he knows nothing about this country. Former Pennsylvania US Senator and Republican Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum stated that Obama does not understand America. I think Santorum may be right and the President knows even less about us than we know about him.

McCain-Feingold Still Makes Hypocrites

Finally, two years ago Democrats were screaming bloody murder about Republican fund-raising by less regulated organizations. I’m sure you remember the accusations that Republicans were allowing overseas donations to be used in the Congressional races. The charges were unproved and unfounded, but it seems Democrats secretly thought it was a good idea. Now they are forming their own.

Why is this happening? McCain-Feingold, of course. Let’s not forget that McCain-Feingold is a clear violation of First Amendment rights above all else. It was supposed to put an end to all of this, but it has actually made it worse. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions – and well-meaning idiots.
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